OFFENCE BUILDS A FENCE

Above all, love each other deeply,  Because love covers over a multitude of sins. (I Peter 4:8)

Have you innocently offended someone or maybe you have been offended? Regrettably, I have unintentionally offended without realizing it.

Years ago, a pastor was preaching on forgiveness. He closed the service with, "If anyone has offence against another, go to that person and forgive them." A lady, whom I had met once, approached me and said, "I forgive you." I was stunned and asked what I had done. She answered, "You said you didn't like White Castle hamburgers and that offended me." I quickly apologized.

It is amazing how easily humans take offence, especially since we are all very imperfect people who hold to varying likes, dislikes, beliefs, opinions, and life experiences. Nevertheless, Christians are called to extend grace to those who express themselves differently or hold views and values that differ from our own. Proverbs 19:11 tells us that good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is our glory to overlook an offense.

An offence can build a fence of separation when words or actions are misinterpreted as being hurtful, judgmental, neglectful, or dishonest. Unfortunately, the one offended seldom tells the person who offended them. However, the Word of God states, that if we believe a fellow Christian has sinned against us, we are to go and confront them privately. If they listen, we have won a brother (Matthew 18:15). Failing to inform the “offender” denies them the opportunity to apologize and make things right. In the meantime, the offended person harbors anger, resentment, and unforgiveness. 

What is an offense? An offense is defined as an annoyance, anger, resentment, indignation, irritation, exasperation, wrath, displeasure, animosity, or ill feeling as a result of another person’s words, actions, or failure to respond. The world is a cauldron of offenses, opinions, violence, hatreds, judgments, bitterness, unforgiveness, and lawlessness in which we must navigate according to biblical principles.

Satan, the author of offense, creates disunity, disharmony, and division within churches, marriages, families, friendships, places of work, and government. Turn on the news and the door opens to offence. Or, peruse Facebook and view comments that can be interpreted as offensive, especially if you disagree with their opinion. Even people resort to road rage when offended by the actions of another driver. However, those inappropriate and dangerous responses come from a heart that holds insecurities, misperceptions, stresses, disappointments, and particular beliefs and opinions that determine how the information is processed and then projected to others. 

I was surprised to discover that many pastors have written books to help Christians, considered “the most sensitive and easily offended group of people,” to learn how to cope with offence. Imagine having to write books to help Christians learn what causes offence, how to deal with offence, how not to offend, how to appropriately respond to offence, and the varying degrees of offence. 

Offence can fracture friendships and marriages, destroy churches, cause pain, and create disunity among the brethren. The enemy of our soul knows that unity can accomplish great things for God's Kingdom; therefore, he creates divisiveness to halt the plans of God.

God's Word tells us that if we speak the languages of men and angels but we fail to love one another, then we are nothing but clanging cymbals making a lot of noise. If we have the gift of prophecy and understand the mysteries of God, and have all knowledge and faith that moves mountains, but we don't have love, then we have nothing. Even if we do good deeds, give money to the needy and poor, but don't love, we have gained nothing for God's kingdom (I Corinthians 13).

The Sadducees and Pharisees gathered together to test Jesus by asking, “What was the greatest commandment in the Law of Moses?” Jesus brilliantly condensed the entire Law into two commandments: “You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets” (Matthew 22:37-40).

The carnal nature of humans is easily offended and will justify anger, bitterness, judgment, unforgiveness, and grudges. However, love covers all wrongs (Proverbs 10:12). But for love to cover, we must love others as we love ourselves. The caveat to loving ourselves is first loving God and understanding how God sees us.

Genesis 2:7 states that Man was created as a "living soul." The soul consists of the mind (which includes the conscience), the will, and the emotions. The soul and the spirit are tied together and make up what scriptures refer to as the "heart."

It is impossible to have agape love for others unless the heart is fully surrendered to God. Responses to people are either emotional and of the flesh, or those responses draw from a well of biblical truths that have been stored within that heart.

The "heart" is central to our emotions and will. The heart can be unyielding and hardened as was Pharaoh’s heart (Exodus 7:14; 8:15). For that reason, we are told to watch over our heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life (Prov. 4:23 NASB). The heart can be deeply troubled (Genesis 6:6). It can be obstinate and proud and led astray (Deuteronomy 2:30; 8:13-14; 17:70). Hate and lust can be held in the heart (Leviticus 19:17; Numbers 15:39). But a pure heart is obedient and faithful to God, compassionate, loving, and forgiving (Matthew 18:35).

God is a God of reconciliation. He reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to Himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And He has committed to us the message of reconciliation” (2 Cor. 5:18-19).

What is reconciliation? It is a reuniting and bringing together what was once broken. When we became reconciled to God, He not only accepted us as we were with all of our flaws and brokenness, He didn't hold our sins against us. As He has loved us, we are called to be ministers of reconciliation within our own souls and with others.

 Love is patient and kind. It doesn't envy, boast, or dishonor another. Love doesn't hold grudges (offences). Love isn't easily angered and does not keep record of wrongs. Love rejoices in truth, protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres. Love never fails. Love is patient and kind. It does not envy, boast, or dishonor others. It is not self-seeking; it is not easily angered; and keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, trusts, hopes, and  perseveres. Love never fails (1 Cor. 13:4-7). 

PRAYER: FATHER, according to Your Word, we are not to be easily angered or to keep record of offences (I Corinthians 13:5). Help me to always extend grace and forgive quickly. And if I have unknowingly offended another, I pray that person would have courage to seek me out that we may be reconciled. In Jesus name, amen.  

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