NEVER GIVE UP

The 2020 pandemic brought an unprecedented challenge to the world. Many battle-wearied people have asked, “When will this be over? Will we ever return to a normal life?” However, Jesus said, “These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold” (I Peter 1:7).

Not one person can avoid trials and testing, for the testing of our faith produces endurance (James 1:3). That painful fact became our reality on New Year’s Eve. 

Many know that my husband, Michael, has been waging a battle with cancer for over 11 years. For the last few weeks, he had been complaining of pain in his ribs on his left side. I had been very concerned about his poor coloring, his loss of appetite, his weight loss, and his recent chronic cough. 

New Year’s eve, Michael could not stop coughing. Since it was a holiday, our doctor’s office was closed, so we went to a walk-in clinic associated with both hospitals that have his medical records. They x-rayed his lungs and diagnosed him with pneumonia. They then gave him an antibiotic shot and steroid shot and released us with a prescription for an oral antibiotic to be taken for 10 days.

New Year’s Day, he awoke with intolerable pain and did not want to eat. By early afternoon, I was not comfortable with the level of pain he was experiencing, so I insisted that we go to the E.R. Arriving around 2 p.m., the cold and dreary rainy day only punctuated my worry and fear. Although there are 365 admonitions in God’s Word not to fear, there are moments when fear hits you like a tsunami, and it is all you can do to keep from being pulled under its tidal wave. 

Michael was quickly triaged and placed in a room where we waited for the doctor, who after speaking with Michael, ordered blood work, a Rapid Covid-19 test, and a CAT Scan. Then she informed us that I would need to leave the hospital, even though it would take a minimum of three hours to learn of the Covid results. If the test was positive, I would not be allowed to return to the hospital and he would be admitted. We said our goodbyes, not knowing when we would see each other again.

I arrived home around 3:30 p.m. and quickly called Michael to see if they had given him anything for pain and he said they had just given him morphine in his I.V. The remainder of my day and evening was spent in prayer. 

Around 9 p.m. I received a call from the doctor who said that although the Covid test gave a negative result, when she looked at the CT scan, she was concerned about areas in his lungs that typically prove to be Covid. For that reason, she suggested to Michael that he have an hour-long infusion of a non-approved drug that, if it were Covid, would fight it. However, they would require that he wait an additional hour to make sure that he had no side-affects from the infusion. The doctor then dropped a bombshell. “It appears that the cancer has spread to his ribs.” 

Separated from my husband by seven miles and seven hours of waiting at our home, I was stunned to hear those words and wondered how Michael was managing the news. To be totally transparent, I was shaken to my core, so I reached out to our pastor and friends and asked for their prayerful intersession. My heart was aching, because I was not there to comfort, encourage, and pray with him. I felt overwhelmed. 

The doctor called around 11 p.m. stating that the infusion had been successful and I could take Michael home; however, we would need to quarantine ourselves for 10 days. Michael and I decided that he would sleep in our bedroom, where he would be more comfortable, and I would sleep in the guest bedroom. 

God often speaks to me through His beautiful creation. I have an orchid plant that has not bloomed in five years, so I had planned to dispose of it. That particular orchid is in the guest room. As I was preparing to turn in for the night, the orchid caught my eye. To my surprise and great joy, that very orchid, which I had given up all hope of blooming, had three large buds and two smaller buds ready to flower. As I marveled the miracle before me, God spoke three powerful words into my spirit, “NEVER give up.” 

The following day after Michael was home, we discussed the “diagnosis.” Two months prior, he had had a full body PET scan with contrast at Vanderbilt, which showed everything was good. The thyroid tumors in his lungs had minimal growth and the oncologist was happy with the scan that showed no other cancers. Because of the continuing stability and type of cancer, we reasoned that it could not have metastasized that quickly to his ribs.

Wednesday, the 6th, Michael said that he had not taken his pain medication Tuesday night and was feeling better. Happily, his fever is gone and he is not in pain, although he does feel very weak.

As much as we dislike going through God’s testing of our faith, I have found that He is interested in our perseverance to trust Him in the testing. That is why James wrote, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds” (James 1:2) That testing can come in small everyday annoyances and it can come in severe pain and suffering as it was with Job, whom God had lifted His hand of protection to get Job’s attention (Isaiah 48:10; Job 42:1-6) As unpleasant and difficult as testing can be, it is for the purpose of growing and maturing our faith and trust in God. 

Michael and I believe that God is with us and is answering prayers as we take one day at a time and trust Him. We are so grateful for the prayers of so many who faithfully take time to pray for us. We can never express enough, our love and gratitude for the greatest gift you could give to us and that is the gift of your prayers. 

Today, we received word from Vanderbilt that Michael is scheduled for a scan on Friday, the 15th. Although this journey is not over, we are determined to trust God and to “never give up.”

PRAYER: FATHER, you have instructed us to trust You and to “never give up.” I am reminded of Your words to Joshua, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go” (Joshua 1:9). You caused Joshua to win the battle against the enemy. You did not fail Joshua and you never fail those who put their trust in you. I ask that You give us physical, emotional, and spiritual strength to walk this journey of faith. In Jesus’ name, amen.